


That Feeling

by hummingbirdswords



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-18
Updated: 2015-04-18
Packaged: 2018-03-24 15:44:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3774322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hummingbirdswords/pseuds/hummingbirdswords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"This thing, this feeling that has been growing inside of her ever since she first looked into warm brown eyes and recognized the understanding that melted in them - it’s stronger than any emotion she’s ever experienced for another person before."</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Feeling

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a long time since I've written for a new fandom. I'm not really sure what this is, just that it sorta just wrote itself and...well...yeah.

It’s that first breath of air on the ground - crisp, earthy, clean, _real_. It had been distinct and unfiltered, new and yet strangely familiar; it was just as she dreamed it would be. Raven had taken in several deep breaths when she stepped out of the pod, her lungs full of it and begging for more, wanting, needing it to engulf her.

 

It’s the vibrant orange among the lush greens of a land full of life, beautiful flowers that grow from the ground beneath her feet. Her love for metal and mechanics hadn’t decreased that day, but her appreciation for nature had been born. Her love for beauty - once in the curve of a machine, later in the picturesque scenery she hadn’t the time to truly enjoy while they were fighting to stay alive - was brought to new levels.

 

It’s the sound of a stream, most times a false sense of security for the brief moment she’s able to enjoy it. Water that seemingly has no start nor ending, free, flowing over stones and rushing down bedrock. The same water that washes away the grime and grease, dirt, the blood that clings to skin as if it isn’t meant to be removed.

 

It’s the forest that glows in the dark, it’s light illuminating in ways Raven had never imagined it could. It’s a rare sight, a hidden gem tucked away in pain and death and promises that lose their meaning after people realize they can’t afford to make certain promises anymore - even if Raven does intend to fight for what she loves ‘til the very end.

 

But it’s also pain - the kind that heals physically but leaves its mark in her mind, on her skin. It’s nights of nightmares and cold sweats, fists squeezed tight and heart racing in terror Raven tries to push away. It’s tears that go un-shed because there are bigger things to worry about, another problem before the first one has even ended. It’s flashbacks of people she cares deeply for - dying, hurting, losing hope, all while she feels useless and like she’s not doing enough to help, not enough to make it stop. It’s wanting to bear the weight on her own shoulders so everyone else can breathe painlessly for a few seconds.

 

It’s...everything.

 

This  _thing_ , this feeling that has been growing inside of her ever since she first looked into warm brown eyes and recognized the understanding that melted in them - it’s stronger than any emotion she’s ever experienced for another person before.

 

It’s floating and drowning at once.

 

It’s a familiar hand on the small of her back, the crook of an elbow, not guiding or pushing but comforting and wordlessly communicating. It’s silent looks of ‘I’m here if you need me’ when everything hurts but nothing can really be done to ease the ache that pulses through veins and tightens around already damaged limbs. It’s war in the day and whispered words at night, shared space and a warm body that Raven can seek out without explanations or excuses.

 

It’s not feeling broken when breathing is a struggle, and it’s no longer feeling weak when her joints hurt because she’s too stubborn to rest when she’s told to. It’s finding strength in someone caring for her, completely but not overbearingly so. And it’s that bubble of warmth in her chest when “I know you can do this” meets her ear - not because she doesn’t believe in her abilities already but because it feels good hearing it from the one whose opinion she cares about the most.

 

It’s beautiful and honest and hers.

 

It’s love.

 

It’s love...and it’s Abby.

 

Raven’s fingers stop their idle stroking up and down the arm thrown across her midsection when lips brush the crook of her neck. Her mind’s been wandering for what could easily have been hours, the amount of time unknown to her, the only sign that it’s still night being the lack of light. But when she feels the tickle of hair on her shoulder and hears the sleepy murmur that is her name, her attention is focused on the woman clinging to her, whose tired eyes blink and meet her own.

 

Abby shifts so she can tilt her head up enough to study Raven’s face. When Abby’s sleepy, her eyelids look heavy and she squints when she smiles, and damn if Raven isn’t a sucker for it. Her skin gets prickly just looking at the older woman. “You should be asleep.” Her voice is a rasp that Raven feels low in her belly, thick and warm.

 

“Correction - -” Raven rakes her nails across the other woman’s scalp and tucks her bangs behind a delicate ear, “- - you should be sleeping so I can be watching this smile appear on your lips every few minutes.”

 

She brings her thumb down to trace the curve of Abby’s lips, the lazy smile growing before Raven’s eyes. And that - oh how she’ll never get used to it, how she’ll never be able to express what it means to her to make Abby smile like this. She can be sarcasm and funny jokes all the other hours of the day, but right now she is almost sickeningly sweet and gooey and unashamed of the thoughts that play around in her mind.

 

A kiss is given to her thumb, the lips first pressed together then parted slightly. The sensitive tips of her digits tingle when she feels the heat of the older woman’s mouth on her skin, and she hums appreciatively. Abby holds her lips to Raven’s hand and looks into her eyes, all her mid-night thoughts being shared without muttering a single word. Abby just gets it - gets her.

 

It’s easy here with Abby, in the quiet of the night, where they allow themselves a mental break for a few hours. There’s still planning and meetings, injuries and searches, hard decisions to be made -  _but_  - but here they’re just Abby and Raven, nothing more, nothing less. Right now they’re just focused on each other, knowing their peace and quiet is limited.

 

“Come on,” Abby whispers after a few silent moments. Her eyes fall shut and she scoots in closer, their bodies connecting, fitting together just so. “We both need to get some sleep. Who knows what we’ll be up against tomorrow.” Her hand slides underneath Raven’s shirt, where it lays soft and warm on the younger brunette’s abdomen, just below the curve of her breast.

 

Raven feels that familiar feeling in her chest, all over her body.

 

It’s that breath of fresh air.

 

It’s that flower that blooms beautifully.

 

It’s the unexpected and the dreamed of - the secret dreams that she chooses not to let get out of hand because she knows dreaming alone will get her nowhere.

 

Raven’s smile is both smug and full of adoration - because  _this_  is all hers, and it’s the closest thing to perfection she’s ever known.

 

She drops a kiss on the top of the older woman’s head once she’s sure Abby is sleeping again, closing her own eyes and breathing in slowly.  _Abby._  “I love you,” she says with so much emotion that the words continue to burn in her mind even after she’s spoken them.

_I love you, Abby._

 


End file.
